


Never Too Late

by The_Gay_Infiltrator



Series: 24 Days of Fanfic for Cowgirlchica [17]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: I'm in no way ashamed of the puns, M/M, Marauder humour everyone, Professional Drama Queen Sirius Black everyone, clever rule avoidance, lots of this was derived from Tumblr, spot all the Animagus puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:23:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9339602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Gay_Infiltrator/pseuds/The_Gay_Infiltrator





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cowgirlchica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowgirlchica/gifts).



"Oy, Moony!" James moaned, rolling over on his bed, "Can you let me copy your essay?"  
"Prongs, I'm serious--"  
Padfoot's face appeared from behind the drawn curtains of his bed. "--No, Remus, I'm Sirius." He said, grinning.   
"Merlin's beard, Sirius! Stop making those damn puns!"  
"Aww, so glad to know you care, Moony."  
Remus glared at Sirius, who retreated back into the curtains he had bewitched to do a great number of things, such as require a password to make them open.   
It was 7 pm on a Saturday night, and although they were doing homework (well, Remus was doing homework. James and Sirius were plotting their next prank with Peter) they were the farthest thing you could get from model students. Hours passed. The next prank had been conceived, discussed, and run by Remus to see if it would work. James had finally just done his fucking essay, Sirius appeared to have fallen asleep because Remus was ignoring him, and Peter was somewhere. It was just about a week before April first, the kickoff of their week-long prank war for the Marauders Cup (an empty Firewhiskey bottle with their nicknames scratched into the side). 

The Marauders had a long history of coming up with complicated ways to get around school rules without actually breaking them. Tonight was no different. They were going to roam the school without ever breaking the rule 'no students out of bed after 11:00'. The minutes seemed to pass slower, as they always did before a prank they were anticipating. Finally, the curfew resounded through the Gryffindor dormitories and common room. Now, it was just a matter of waiting for an opportune time to leave. The Map lay open on Sirius's bed, every Marauder closely watching the dots that represented teachers. Finally, every teacher was at a good distance away, especially McGonagall. James took out his wand, and with a swish and a flick of his wrist, he said "Wingardium Leviosa."  
Padfoot's bed rose off the floor, and, at James's direction, proceeded slowly down the staircase, through the common room, and out (with some difficulty) through the portrait hole. The Fat Lady was scandalized. They flew down the corridors of Hogwarts, Remus occasionally checking the Map to see if a teacher was coming. Now, Moony hadn't checked it for a while, when McGonagall came around the corner at the end of the hall. She gaped at the bed for a second, then whipped out her wand and pointed it at the Marauders. Remus hastily wiped the map and stuffed it in his pocket, as the bed came to an abrupt halt. McGonagall's sharp, tapping footsteps echoed through the hall as she came marching up to the bed and pulled the curtains aside. She shook her head. "I'm not surprised it's YOU four making a disturbance. Twenty points from Gryffindor for being out of bed after eleven."  
"But, Professor McGonagall, we aren't out of bed." Sirius said from where he was lounging against the headboard. "Our feet haven't touched the ground since five minutes before eleven."  
McGonagall rolled her eyes. "Clever." She admitted, shaking her head slightly. Mycroft "Twenty-five points to Gryffindor for being too clever for the rules, but only if you go back to bed immediately. Otherwise, my original deduction of twenty points stands."  
"Yes, Professor." James muttered, turning the bed around.   
It was only slightly more subdued that the Marauders flew back through the halls to their dorm. After all, they had gotten five points for Gryffindor for being smartarses. As they reentered the common room and flew the bed back up to their dorm room, they murmured quietly about other ways they could bend the rules to get points (and to break rules without breaking them). Now, it wasn't exactly that they went to sleep (they certainly didn't) but they certainly quieted down a bit. They all lounged on their beds, the lamps on the walls casting a warm, flickering glow over the room. Moony was studying the Map (and considering improvements that could be made), Wormtail was reading, and Padfoot and Prongs were adding to their book of horrible jokes (which involved a lot of cackling). "So..." Sirius said, pausing for dramatic effect, "I guess you could call James a...Maraudeer."  
Everyone groaned, and the pages spread out in front of James and Sirius shuffled themselves. The quill hovering just above the papers began to scribble, at the bottom of a long column of puns. 

All four Marauders scrambled into the Transfiguration class and slid into their seats, desperately hoping that they wouldn't be late. Moony was the last to sit down. "Remus Lupin. You are late!" McGonagall snapped.   
"I'm aware." Remus said, sitting down.   
Sirius choked on his laughter, and James gave a cough that sounded suspiciously like a giggle. Peter bit his lip to try and hold in a snort. "Aware-wolf!" Padfoot muttered under his breath so nobody but the Marauders could hear.   
This was too much. Prongs and Wormtail started laughing first, followed by Padfoot, and then, finally, Moony. "Wow, Sirius," James said loudly. "You're really ROARING with laughter."  
Sirius banged his fist on his desk as he cackled. The rest of the class (and McGonagall) stared at them in confusion. Why was Remus Lupin saying 'I'm aware' so absolutely hilarious? "Mr. Lupin, Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew, Mr. Black. Detention, all of you. And fifteen points from Gryffindor."  
"Especially grumpy today. Must be her ~time of the month~." James muttered out of the corner of his mouth.  
Sirius snorted. "Sirius, you're acting like a mad dog. Stop making a fool of yourself. You'll only get more detention." Remus drawled.   
"You're barking up the wrong tree, Remus. I for one am over the moon about receiving a detention on this fine day." Sirius turned to the class, dramatically overacting. "See, aren't you glad we liven things up for you when the class gets particularly stagnant?"  
Peter was nearly doubled over with laughter by this point, as James replied "My deer Sirius, don't let the fame go to your head. You'll have all the girls making doe eyes at you."  
"Mooning over me all the time as well, as they do already." Sirius preened.  
Remus blushed a bit. "All of you, be quiet." McGonagall said.   
All the Marauders went quiet. "Oh yes, Professor. We'll be as quiet as mice." Prongs said, with an excellent poker face.   
They all broke out into a fit of laughter again, and nobody understood why. "This class is going to the dogs. For Merlin's sake, all of you."  
All the Marauders looked at McGonagall with identical looks of surprise on their faces. She had just unwittingly added more fuel to their pun battle. "Oh yes, Professor. We'll have squeaky clean records from now on."  
"That's pawsitively untrue, and you know it, Sirius."  
"True, true. But it is an endeering thought though, isn't it, Professor?"  
"What a tail that would be. Although it would behoove us to actually get on with class." Remus said sarcastically.   
"What, the Maraudeers? Get on with class? "  
"All of you, sit down!"  
"In two shakes of a rat's tail, Professor."  
"Oh come on, James. It'll take more than that to get them howling with laughter." Sirius gestured to the other students.  
"I guess I'll leaf this up to you then."  
"All of you, go to your common room. You'll receive your detention later."  
They all looked at each other and shrugged, then left. The rest of the class glanced around in confusion, and then went back to the lesson. 

They got to their common room, and sat there briefly, wondering what they would do. Remus immediately went for his parchment, Peter went for his novel, and James and Sirius went back to their joke book. As they did this, a spider crawled across the parchment. "Remus. Remus!" Sirius said, turning.   
"What is it, Sirius?"  
"Will you kill this spider for me, Remus?"  
"Is it trying to hurt you?" Remus replied sarcastically.   
"It's on my bed and hurting my heart." Sirius said dramatically.   
James, who was desperately trying to contain himself, whispered "Engorgio." And pointed his wand at the spider.   
Sirius shrieked and leapt into Remus's arms, knocking his essay to the floor. Moony stared at him, unable to do anything but support him. Because he couldn't just DROP him, could he? As Padfoot clung to Remus's neck, James and Peter exchanged glances. "Oh my god, you guys, just kiss already." Prongs said, rolling his eyes.   
Remus and Sirius blinked at him. "Wait..so you guys wouldn't mind?"  
Both Peter and Prongs shook their heads. Remus looked down at Sirius, who was inching closer to him. James walked over to the pair, and casually pushed Remus's head down into Sirius's. "Not at all." He said.   
"Remember, kids," Sirius said, pulling away from Remus and standing up. "It's never too late to become a raging degenerate homosexual." He then dipped Remus and snogged him, amid the vigorous applause, whoops and confetti spells cast by the other two Marauders.


End file.
